Grief, Legacy, and the Journey of Motherhood: Navigating Life's Seasons

The journey of motherhood transcends generations, carrying with it both profound joy and inevitable heartache. This became starkly evident in our recent conversation about mothers and Mother's Day—particularly poignant for me as it followed the January passing of my own mother. Grieving wasn't characterized by uncontrollable sobbing, but rather a heaviness that dampened vision, increased tiredness, and manifested in physical ailments. But this season of grief, though difficult, has gradually given way to remembrance of joy and appreciation for the precious moments shared, especially during her later years.

Motherhood carries with it complex emotions that evolve through different seasons of life. Many women experience strained relationships with their mothers during periods of their life, often due to distance, competing responsibilities, or unmet expectations. I shared my experience of marrying young at 16 and moving away from my mother, who was still raising five other children. This created a rough relationship limited by distance and availability—not just for me but for my children as well, who felt the absence of their grandmother. It wasn't until later in life, after moving closer and gaining perspective on my mom's struggles, that compassion and understanding replaced that resentment. This transformation mirrors what many women experience as they themselves navigate the challenges of motherhood and gain empathy for their own mothers' journeys.

The intergenerational nature of maternal relationships provides profound perspective. Victoria recalled her own mother's devastating grief at losing her mother to a heart attack—a moment that revealed her mother's vulnerability and humanity in a new way. These patterns of loss, grief, and eventual understanding seem to repeat across generations, teaching us about the depth of the mother-child bond. Modern technology has allowed for new ways to preserve these relationships; Victoria mentioned recording videos of her mother speaking blessings over her, healing old offenses she didn't even realize she harbored. These tangible memories become treasures after a mother's passing, reinforcing the spiritual connection that transcends physical presence and reminding us that a mother's prayers and impact continue long after she's gone.

The pressure of perfectionism weighs heavily on many mothers, creating unnecessary burdens as they navigate their parenting journey. There's a powerful realization that comes with maturity—understanding that loving your children "ferociously" is the foundation that matters most, even when mistakes are inevitable. We reflected on raising children through life's seasons. knowing that these experiences shaped both us parents and our children. The world often suggests that motherhood alone isn't enough, pushing women to seek fulfillment elsewhere while potentially sacrificing precious time with their children. But we embrace the importance of the calling of motherhood during these fleeting years, and that the time passes so quickly, transforming from seemingly endless days into brief "blips" in our memories.

Perhaps most reassuringly, we addressed the fear many women face regarding the "empty nest" phase of motherhood. Rather than representing an end, this transition opens the door to new purposes and callings. God "doesn't miss a beat" in guiding women to new seasons of life after active child-rearing ends. The relationship with adult children evolves but remains meaningful, shifting from daily care to more intentional, "unobtrusive" forms of support and encouragement. Mother's Day itself is reframed not as a time to receive accolades but as an opportunity to continue blessing children, grandchildren, and spiritual children. Today, I want to close with a powerful reminder that motherhood is "supposed to be a little wild," with each child uniquely formed by God and each mother perfectly designed to raise her children. Step away from comparison and perfection, and into the freedom of embracing your divine purpose in all of life's seasons!

Listen to the whole conversation now on the E's Greenhouse, "Rooted & Rising" podcast!